Chilito Numnutz to Spearhead Nude Flight Program in Name of National Security
what? you're frickin' suprized? incredulous? wtf? of course bush's secret hatchet man is a kristian killer klown. truth of the matter is, flyonthewall smuggled this image of chilito to rory's hard drive. chilito's true identity is not even known by the president. he only reveals himself to a select few while in his kkk suit, as depicted here. now that we've got that little detour out of the way, lemme tell you, chilito claims to have solved the airline security problem.
A memorandum he has distributed to Homie Security Head Miguel Cherkoff, rumbo, w, and chainee, says, among other things: "check-in would be expedited and security enhanced if airline passengers traveled naked and shackled to the seats. a slightly harsher version of this has proven entirely safe in transporting enemy combatants, known terrorists, and innocent captures all over the world in recent years on our 'black flights'. shackling would actually enhance our ability to respect privacy as it would largely obviate the need for cavity searches, since the passenger would be denied access to any instrumentalities that might be carried in the form of what is known in the parlance of the trade as 'koester weapons.'"
Polls of airline passengers yielded suprising results: 47% said they would gladly travel nude and shackled into their seats if it meant they were safe and delays for security screening could be reduced. (Compare to earlier numbers regarding willingness to submit to cavity searches in the name of safety). roryshock: Submit to a cavity search? "By all means go ahead," respond many, particularly if the "war on terror" is mentioned!